Choose Life Counselling - Esther Diplock






Racing faster than my legs could carry me, hunted by the ghosts in my mind; I tumbled and fell in a screeching mass landing in a heap at the banks of... something. Something I did not have a name for. Something wide and long and impossible to cross. Something I did not see coming on the horizon. By its sheer mass, it made itself known.

I looked up and down its length, seeing no beginning and no end. There was simply no way to run around a Great Expanse.


For days I sat on the banks of the Great Expanse and scratched my wounds in the dirt. Mud caked around my ankles, but I could not return from where I came. Back there was everything I did not want to be. Back there was pain and… pain. All I knew on this side of the Great Expanse was mud and running. Problem was, on the other side of the Great Expanse was Unknown and Unconquered. Unfamiliar.

Un-everything, really.


Days gave way to nights and birthed days again and I grew increasingly tired of dirty and disgusting. I am not sure that I decided to cross my Great Expanse so much as I decided not to stay stuck. There was no plan for moving forward, only a growing repulsion for where I was.


So, I jumped into the Great Expanse. And promptly drowned.

I didn't see that one coming either. I know. How could I not, right? I should have seen all the water. I should have noticed the claws of the current. Jumping in the deep end when you cannot swim lends itself to a drowning. But there you go. I jumped.  That is who I am. A Jumper and a Passionate Believer that the Unknown can become the Known if you will only leap.


At first my swimming looked more like hacking at water and my breathing looked more like coughing up my lungs. But eventually I got real familiar with the Unfamiliar and all its fast flowing currents, hidden below the kiss of a calm surface.

I didn't drown.

Imagine that.

Imagine my surprise.


I dragged my wet self out the other side of The Great Expanse and found… land. Not only land, but a town. A completely different place to live. A whole other way of being. But the most unexpected part about the Unfamiliar and the Unknown, (I mean after I got past the fact that the town was named Uncomfortable), I actually thrived.


Oh sure, not right away. Not even the next day or the next week. But once I stopped fighting the fact that facing fears, myself, my hopes and dreams and basically everything that ever meant anything to me also meant that I was living at least part time in Uncomfortable, I saw the benefits.

I got to show up and be real.

Cool, hey?

Some people didn't think so.

But the ones that did, they moved to Uncomfortable too. Together we forged new relationships. We became skilled bridge builders and we grew fond of Uncomfortable.


This summer I even bought a house in the town of Uncomfortable. Camping was getting old. I welcome the gift of moving beyond myself to new possibilities.  I'll go one step further, I like this new town. The ever changing, ever growing sum of the place.

It has a great vibe.

Know what I mean?



Written by: Tabitha Bird               Used with permission.

Tabitha Bird's Blog -

     back to top